Networking Anxiety? Here’s How to Get Past It
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Susan Jeffers
Does the thought of walking into a room full of strangers and having to “sell” yourself make your palms sweat? You’re in good company. Networking anxiety is one of the most common reasons business owners avoid the very events that could help them grow.
When I started my virtual assistant business in 2017, I knew nothing about networking. Frankly, the idea of it filled me with dread. I’d read Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and the title stuck with me, mostly because it didn’t offer an alternative.
How a coffee group built my business
My answer was slightly unconventional. Rather than walk into someone else’s room, I started my own. I set up Cheltenham Ladies Who Latte, an informal networking group for local businesswomen, and gave myself a reason to be there that had nothing to do with selling.
It worked better than I could have planned. That group gave me my first client, and many more since. I no longer run it, but a good share of S.A.M. Ltd’s early growth traces straight back to those meetups.
Starting a group won’t suit everyone, and it doesn’t need to. What it taught me applies to any networking event you walk into.
Networking isn’t a sales pitch
Most networking anxiety comes from a misunderstanding of what networking actually is. It isn’t about pushing yourself forward or delivering a flawless 60-second pitch. It’s a series of ordinary conversations with people who might one day need what you do, or know someone who does.
Once you see it that way, the pressure drops considerably. You’re not there to close anything. You’re there to meet people.
Practical networking tips for nervous business owners
Reframe why you’re there. Treat each event as a chance to meet people who could become clients, collaborators or simply useful contacts. A change in what you expect from the room changes how the room feels.
Ask questions, then listen. The quickest way to take the spotlight off yourself is to put it on someone else. Ask about their business, how they got started, what they’re working on. People enjoy talking to someone who’s genuinely interested, and you’ll learn far more than you would by talking.
Bring a friend, then split up. A familiar face helps you settle in. Agree beforehand that you’ll go your separate ways once you’ve found your feet, otherwise you’ll spend the whole event talking to each other.
Stay present. If nerves creep in, take a breath and bring your attention back to the conversation in front of you. Nobody is marking you. Networking is about real connection, not performance.
Keep going back. Confidence comes from repetition. Very few clients come from a single meeting; trust builds when people see you turning up regularly. Listening, conversation and explaining what you do in plain terms all improve every time you practice them.
Find the right room. Not every group will suit you. Some are structured around formal pitches, others are relaxed and conversational. If you’re nervous, start with something smaller and informal. If nothing in your area fits, consider starting your own. It worked for me.
Practice makes progress
I won’t pretend the nerves vanish entirely. Walking into a new room still brings a flicker. The difference now is that I know it passes, usually by the time the first coffee arrives.
Everyone in that room is there for the same reason you are: to meet people and build relationships that last. So don’t let the fear make the decision for you. Feel it, and go anyway.
And if those new connections start generating more admin than you can keep on top of, that’s exactly the kind of support S.A.M. Ltd provides for business owners across Gloucestershire and beyond. Get in touch if you’d like a chat about that.
